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Betsy

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Tue, Jul 5th, 2011 04:07 pm
What is out there? [
]
Been thinking a lot about my life, and everyone else's. I feel like I got left out of the loop, like I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I feel that if I could go back in time, make more meaningful relationships, or keep them, maybe things would have been different.

Where is my drive? I want to do something, but somehow I keep getting stranded at my home while others are out there studying abroad, visiting other countries, TEACHING in China. People from my class are getting jobs left and right, and I feel like I'm still not ready, but I want to be...

When will I grow up? ):

I can remember just 3 years ago, I was so excited for the future. I wanted to make a difference, to go into Teach For America, to go teach in a foreign country, to do something. And as time went by, I got scared and nervous... I am so afraid of what I don't know, that I'm too chicken to do anything.

Hell, I get lost and intimidated just filling in applications for jobs. How am I supposed to get one if I can't even fill out the applications. What will happen to me when I have to go into an interview. What is to become of my life? I can't just sit here at home doing nothing, I need to get out there, but how can I make myself do so?

Where is my drive? I suck ><;
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Sat, Jun 25th, 2011 05:34 pm
Meh [
]
[ mood | depressed ]

I'm not feeling in the best of moods lately.

There's a lot I want to express, but I'm not quite sure the words to use... And to whome I should express these to.

I feel as if there's no one that I can really talk to, no one I can trust, and no one that I want to know what's inside me at the moment.

I'm just... so... empty? That's not the right word, but I'm not sure of one that would be better.

Blah.

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Sun, Dec 19th, 2010 12:17 am
/sigh [
]
I've not been feeling very above the weather lately.

I want a place to vent, a person, something, where I won't get in trouble or have anyone upset with me, but such a place doesn't exist. Kinda. I guess it does. I'll go use it now.

/pointless LJ post ftl
2 comments|post comment

Mon, Dec 6th, 2010 01:48 pm
Undergrad [
]
Just finished my last undergraduate class I will ever take. And we made ice cream in it. It was good. And cold. While it's freezing outside. Haha.

Was hoping for that 4.0 this semester, but thanks to the stupid +/- scale, I got a damn A- [a 94 should NOT be an A-... seriously...] Not very happy about that.

Looking forward to this break <3 Want to get some things done, some games finished etc.

Need to finish:
Tales of Vesperia
Final Fantasy Tactics
Shadow Hearts Covenant
Fire Emblem

Want to work on:
Cleaning my sewing machine [in hopes that it'll work for this month]
Ovelia
Beatrix

Can't wait for Christmas :D



So, living with Tommy's mother has been stinky lately. Lisa was down for Thanksgiving and her and Deanna are very drama prone [probably because Deanna is a 13 year old stuck in a 50 year old body... I swear, she just reeks of drama] and got into huge fights with both Antone and Tommy.

I thought Tommy was at fault originally, but apparently he was very civil and understanding at first, Friday night and Saturday, but by the time I got home Sunday evening and the drama was STILL going on, he lost his cool.

It was scary, and now Deanna is SUPER unpleasant, but at least she isn't talking to me haha. xD And I'm sure I won't have her begging to live with us again, which I'm thanking the lord for.




Me and Tommy got our first Christmas tree together 2 days ago. It's a cute little tree. We got some amazing ornaments for it. I can't wait to decorate it on Wednesday when Tommy comes home <3 I'll take pictures. [:

We're thinking of getting a condo in Atlantic Station next year. That way Tommy will be super close to work. It's better than Dekalb county I hope. D: And it'll be fun cause we'll be so close to everything so we can have a place to chill for smaller conventions and we can go to the fox or shakespeare tavern or the zoo or the aquarium and friends can have a place to chill when they go to the ATL [: It'll be awesome. I just hope we cna find a nice one at a decent price next year.



Super worried about Student Teaching next semester, but Im less worried than I was a few months ago. I'm trying my best to not get so stressed and try to be more excited about it. I'll really need to do something right cause I need a job this time next year. Got a shit ton of those student loans I need to pay off haha xD
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Mon, Oct 25th, 2010 08:44 pm
Birthday [
]
Got to go karaoking with all my bestest friends for my 23rd bday. It was fun [but a learning experience haha].

got help paying for it, got a beautiful purse and wallet, and got a flower (i think) lol.

Didn't get the delicious dinner I wanted. ):

Spent a shit ton of time cleaning (which gally said was a waste and probably was haha).






Speaking of Gally, she's been here since mid October and I love her. I don't want her to ever leave. It's so much fun having her around. We make dinner, watch movies, go out. D: I miss having a friend around all the time. I don't want her to leave next week, so I'm praying that her hubby will be able to switch locations with some other guy so she can s tay longer. /crosses fingers!


Jet had a bad reaction to her cats even though we tried to hide them away, so i hope tht it won't bother Deanna the same way. I have a suspicion that she's probably full of it, but because of that, she'll probably talk that shit up as well. ): I can't wait for her to be out of my house! /grawr!~!!!!!#n2 qrlkjnrejskgb She's not a bad person, but these last 2 weeks without her have been heaven ;-;
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Sun, Sep 5th, 2010 09:30 am
I am so Depressed [
]
[ mood | crushed ]

I feel... I dunno, destroyed?

Sarah's been my best friend for many years. Since 7th grade. I love her so much.. She was the coolest, most awesome person in the world.

But it's not that way anymore.

She's still my best friend, but we've grown so far apart. So far apart that she doesn't even remember about me when she decides to go to Dragoncon for the first time.

What does that make me? I was already on my way to conyers, ready to hang out and shit with sarah for the first time in a while, for the last time before awa, and zachary messages me to tell me they are going to dragon con.

They didn't even let me know.

I even talked to britt earlier that day.

They just don't care about me, and it breaks my heart. I don't know what to do with myself. I've got those loathsome butterflies that show up when you're in a bad relationship, when you're really nervous and scared... I feel sick to my stomach.

And god knows I can't say anything to them about it, because Brittany's a bitch and will just say things like, "Remember when you went to Chicago without me, well fuck off bitch" [Sarah didn't want you to go either, bitch, and that's why.] and Sarah lacks empathy and will just bitch at me too. "I told you you could come [after they were already on their way]" "I told you to stay at my house [while they were at dragoncon without me]"

I don't know if there really is anything they can say atm to make me feel better, because they a) forgot about me, when she's supposed to be my god damned best friend, or b) didn't want me to go.

God, I hate this. I can't stop crying. I can't believe they would do this to me. I just can't. What kind of friends do that to you? I don't understand how she can look me in the eye and tell me i'm her best friend, and then turn around and do this shit.

Fuck drama. I hate it and I want it out of my life.

Brittany, go get back on drugs and party and be fucking dumb and leave my best friend alone you skanky, slutty, bitchy, friend-stealing, dumb ass bitch. D: I hate you so much.

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Fri, Jul 2nd, 2010 11:30 am
Best Night of My Life [
]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

So, after 5-7 years of obsessing and dreaming of Miyavi, Thursday, July 1, 2010 = the best night EVER!

Went over to Sarah s around noon. We hung out some then started getting ready.

Everyone was so cute! :D

We left around 5 because we had to take Conner to baseball.

We got there around 5:45 pm. The website said Miyavi played at 7, the tickets 8, and apparently the staff said 9.xD

We hung around in the hot sun with a bunch of bitch fan girls who drove up from Florida and then some cute baby fan ppl who were cool. :D

There was some bitch who took it upon herself to try to make everyone get in a line and tell me, Brittany, and Sarah to move to the back of the line because they were there first.

I wish I had punched her in the face. xD Shouldn't have listened to her, because she was so obviously not staff... And my GOD did she screech at ppl. Hated her.

Anyway, got in at 7:45 and then waiting til like 9:10 for Miyavi to play. He was at the Masquerade, so we rant o the left of stage and got front row spots.

It was amazing!!!!! His song list was GREAT (though it was all mostly 2007 and up), and he was so full of himself, it was AWESOME! He danced, jumped, twirled around stage. Played his guitar backwards, forwards, in the air, etc etc. He leaned over us, Stood over us, threw his water/spit at us, etc. etc. He was amazing and beautiful and AMAZING! :D I LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!

And at the end, he did an encore, which was FANTASTIC! His keyboardist and drummer were awesome and very amusing :D

And then he came down and collected all the posters and gifts people had for him and I got to grab his hand!!!! I touched Miyavi!!!!!!!!!!!!! My life is COMPLETE! Game Over. Done. Finished. POOF!

Life is good.

"Atlanta, we r here. I see u. hope not a storm again today.

ma throat is in condition today cuz of the blessed storms that we had these days. feels like got much stronger.

I was able 2 put much energy n concentration into the performance, and I got nu skill tonite yo!!

after leaving the fantastic night in Atlanta, we are heading over to the destination of this leg "HOT HELL TEXAS" "

2 comments|post comment

Sun, Jun 13th, 2010 03:10 pm
Honeymoon + First Fist Fight [
]
[ mood | guilty ]

Mother booked the wrong week for Hilton Head because she had close this week, so her and daddy gave me and Tommy tues-Saturday and this super nice condo! :D

So, June 1-June 5 was our honeymoon in Hilton Head. It was beautiful. Great weather (aside from Friday afternoon), fun pretty beaches, shopping, delicious food, etc. etc.

I ate so much delicious steamed and fried shrimp and Tommy peeled them all for me like a true Hubby should ;D <3 It was fantastic.

We spend some of Wednesday shopping for swimsuits and beach bags. I got a 2-piece so I could tan my belly, but it didn't get much sun ;-; Guess I need more than 2-3 days on the beach haha. xD

Thursday, Tommy wanted to go to an adult store, so we drove all the way off the island to go to one, got lost, but finally found it lol. We got a fun toy and a board game called "Discover Your lover" lol. It's interesting. xD I had a good time playing it, though I went to bed right after haha.

We were rained off the Beach on Friday and couldn't get into Sea Pines. But we rode our bikes some and that was fun [:

I had a wonderful time with Tommy. :D


-------------------------


2 nights ago, me and Brittany got into a fist fight. She was drunk and wanted to drive, so I hid her keys from her and she flipped out on me and we got into it. I feel real bad about it because I was sober, so I should have behaved myself, but she was making me so angry that night... I'm pissed at myself for taking blows at her none the less. I should have been more mature about it. Apparently, I gave her a pretty bad black eye and a deep scratch on her neck. I'm sorry ): Luckily, daddy stopped it before I got hurt. D:

I'm hoping she'll get over it soon.

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Mon, May 17th, 2010 01:49 pm
Wedding [
]
Thursday: Bachelorette Party
>Left to go to Jet's when Ans picked us up. Eric apparently bailed on us without saying a thing. Good thing we were smart and realized he was bullshitting us ahead of time and went on with the party.
>Britt and Sarah dressed me in a sash and tiara and a sexy cowboy broke-back mountain apron.
>We got drunk off of tequila shots, sunrises, Smirnoff watermelon drinks, and some koolaid dragon-berry rum mix.
>I stripped down to my underwear and attempted to get everyone else to do the same.
>I tried to wear Brittany's shoes but Sarah has become a tattle tell and told on me.
>We went outside and messed with the guys that were down there along with the mentally challenged guy. I told them everyone was married and 23 and 26. I don't know why. Lol.
>A cop showed up and told us to be quiet lol.
>Britt made me sob my heart out, but we worked it out with an hour of going in circles and telling Sarah to go to sleep.

Friday: Rehearsal/Dinner
>Tommy was super late picking us up from Jet's (he got lost lol) but we managed to make it to Savannah safely with food and tuxedos.
>We got there and got into the room, hung out, bathed and got dressed.
>Went down to the lobby of the Mulberry Inn and hung out some more with everyone.
>Did the rehearsal (which was confusing and we should have gone through it once or twice more <.<)
>Went to the Pirate House for dinner. It was SOOOOOO delicious! OH My God. Good. There was fried chicken, tilapia, BBQ pork, heavenly mashed potatoes and gravy, salads, collards, banana pudding. Oh God. It was so good. And Captain Jack Sparrow (lull) came in and entertained us for a while. Britt called him out on stealing jokes, and he kept calling Conner Justin Beiber. It was amusing.
>Afterward, we went up to the room and drank some more. Another cop came by and told us to be quiet lol.
>We went to river street for a moment, but went back and hung out more in the rooms until bed time.

Saturday: Wedding
>Got up and walked around Savannah with mom.
>Got dressed and got people together to go eat at Huey's. Yum!
>Went and waited for my room. Then bathed and got dressed while everyone helped/watched and my photographer took lots of pictures.
>was late getting to Forsyth park for pictures. We spent some time of me and Tommy getting photos in front of the fountain.
>Bridesmaids finished getting dressed and we went to the ceremony.
>Gerry sent Brittany out too early.
>Jet stumbled up the steps.
>I forgot my bouquet!
>I couldn't stop laughing and making my bridesmaids laugh. Antone told me I killed him. His cheeks hurt so much trying not to laugh lol.
>Me and Tommy got married.
>We took more pictures outside by river street with family and friends.
>We went back in for the first dance and father daughter dances, which was lame haha. I can't dance and they both refused to leave haha.
>Tommy's mother wasn't around for her dance, so theirs was late haha.
>The reception was beautiful. The food was yummy, everyone carried everything for me, everyone was awesome. [: I had a great time.
>Did the cake cutting, where me and Tommy bickered over it haha. I love him.
>The bouquet toss ended up with Ans getting hit in the face and Brittany getting it lol.
>The garter toss ended up almost in Conner's hand, but Zachary snatched that. Does that mean Brittany and Zachary? O_o Don't think so haha!
>Danced some on the dance floor, but Britt broke my bustle haha.
>Everyone went to line up while me and Tommy danced and waited for the carriage.
>It arrived and we went to our horse drawn carriage ride. Our horse was Batman, and he was awesome. He ran a stop sign and a red light, and peed in front of the police men xD
>Went back to our room and 'consummated' our wedding then passed out.
>I hung up on Britt and Sarah when they called for me to go swimming. I was tired lol.

Sunday: Presents at Home
>Got up and packed and got dressed.
>Hung out in Britt's room and the parent's room talking to people.
>Went to Huey's for food, but the wait was too long.
>Ate lunch with Michelle and family, Papa and Ms. Lynn, and the family at The Cotton Exchange. It was good :D Me and Britt won that one.
>Packed the car then went to the candy store where my Hubby bought me yummy vanilla fudge <3
>Went home where we drove through storms and saw a power pole get struck by lightening and explode.
>Got home and unpacked and cleaned and ate left overs.
>Opened gifts. We got a lot of awesome things! Thanks to everyone who bought us presents. :D I love every single one of them! <3
>Played Halo reach with Zachary then went to sleep lol.

Great weekend. I had such a wonderful time. I love my family and friends. Y'all are the best and I appreciate everything you have all done for me. I love yall so much!!!! <3 <3 THANKS MOM!!!!!!!! You're the BEST!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3

I am now Mrs. Betsy Elaine Holbrook Averette. [:
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Wed, May 12th, 2010 01:15 pm
Dream [
]
I had a dream where Tommy and I were staying with a bunch of people from Statesboro in some other place. I dunno, but what the main point of the dream was was this: I was hanging out withe this one guy and Tommy got super jealous and pulled me aside and told me not to hang out with the guy anymore, blah blah blah. Flash forward and I'm sitting on a bench with Dav'El, and Dav'El has taken Tommy's place. And as I am sitting down, I think to myself, "Why am I marrying this guy? I don't like him like this. This marriage won't work. Am I making a mistake?" And it was then that my consciousness awakens and I'm like, Shit! I'm not marrying Dav'El, I'm marrying Tommy! :D And I realize that I was reliving moments from the past and put Tommy into Dav'El's spot earlier in the dream. I'm glad that my Tommy isn't like that. <3 He's amazing! And i'm making the right choice marrying him. xD Lol.
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Tue, May 11th, 2010 09:04 am
May [
]
It's may, and I'll be getting married in 4 days!!!! :D

The plan is: Today, get my hair done. Tomorrow, get my nails and eyebrows done, Thursday is the bachelorette party, Friday is the rehearsal, and Saturday I'll be a MRS.!!!!!!!!!

Tommy and I went and got our marriage license yesterday.

I'm so excited <3

I cannot wait.

I love my Tommy.

And my parents are the most fantastic ever.

I'll go into all the details after the wedding <3

Yay!!!!!!!!
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Fri, Mar 12th, 2010 05:04 pm
Mrs Kim [
]
This journal entry is way past overdue.

Mrs. Kim, my most wonderful neighbor since I was 10, passed away a few days before Christmas in 2009.

She survived through diseases and cancers, but a tumor took her. That last year was so weird. I was used to not seeing her often. I was grown, away at school, and Lindsay and I weren't really friends anymore. I've never had anyone close to me die before, so when I heard she had an incurable tumor, I was sad, but it didn't ever really sink in that she would pass away. I was so used to not seeing her.

That last year, on her medication, she gained weight and I wasn't able to recognize her anymore. She seemed so different, but there were a few times when I could see the old Kim. She would come into the house bringing things for conner, cleaning the house, taking out trash, feeding animals, etc.

She was the nicest, sweetest, most caring woman I have ever known in my life. She loved everything and being in everyone's business. We used to think she was so weird because we barely knew her, yet she was walking into our houses, doing our chores, planting plants in our yards, etc. She would call mom when me and britt were out without coats or shoes, etc.

She was amazing. And I didn't really think anything of her being sick because no one close to me has ever died. It didn't make sense.

And then I read Lindsay's facebook message bout her mom being in Heaven smiling and it dawned on me, she's gone from this earth. I'll never see her again. Her smile is lost forever. She won't be walking into the house, planting plants, smiling, walking around with BJ in her shirt, taking pictures, etc. anymore.

And when I really think about it, I hate myself because I never got the chance to tell her how much she meant to me and how important she was to me. She was so amazing, another mom to me, and I neglected to let her know how much I love her. I left her a facebook message, but I don't think she ever got to read it. I hate myself for not taking the time to give her a call or go and visit her. I would give anything to give her a hg and to tell her I love her so much and miss her.

Mom tells me that she knows, that she's still here. She made a promise with my mom that neither one of them will leave this cul-de-sac and mom says she knows that Mrs. Kim has kept her promise and that she's here watching over us and keeping us safe like she always has. Mom had a candle that she couldn't get to light, and after she prayed for Kim to show us she was here, the candle lit itself. I know it sounds stupid, but I believe it was Mrs. Kim. It's so her.

Mrs. Kim, you were a truly amazing person. I will remember and love you forever!
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Tue, Feb 2nd, 2010 02:40 pm
Ponderment [
]
As I was laying in silence last night because I didn't feel like listening to music or watching tv, I thought about a lot of things.

I'm not sure what led me down this path, but I got to thinking about love and how I had always believed that feelings you've had in the past will always linger and that there was no real way to get over many of those because they were so strong.

I'm not sure if I really believe that anymore. I thought I would still really care for people from my past, but as a whole, there are some I can say I don't. There are some that I miss, some who's relationships I enjoyed and think about and care for, but then there are others whom I never think of, and I can't bring up in my head at all. When I sit and try to think about that time in my life, nothing comes to mind. It's just blank. I can honestly say that I'm completely and utterly over that point in my life and it feels weird, because I really did believe that those feelings would last a lifetime. Truly did. But the didn't, and now I don't know what to think.

There are some feelings that remain from my past. I haven't been able to get over the competitive jealousy of some points in my life. Which is weird, because there really isn't anything to base any of that off of anymore. I dunno.

Brains are weird.
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Mon, Jan 11th, 2010 07:10 pm
Selling Costumes/Clothes [
]
I'm in desperate need of some money so I'm emptying out my closet!

All prices include S&H inside the continental U.S. Paypal only! Please leave a comment or e-mail me at kalasnacks@gmail.com

Click Here! :DCollapse )
Please help me! Thank you!!!
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Tue, Dec 29th, 2009 08:41 pm
2009 was awesome! [
]
Wonderful things in 2009:

I had blonde hair and loved it.

Got engaged July 4th with the best person ever.

Got drunk for the first time in my life.

Got a job at GameStop (again) and I love the people I work with (mostly). xD

Had pretty polka dotted kimonos for Momocon that we made ourselves.

Went to Chicago in May and visited Eric for a week. Rode the bus for 18 hours both way. xD

Went to A-Cen.

Made an Edea outfit that's pretty neat. Got a lot of compliments. [:

Made a Konishi cosplay as well.

Made silent hill nurse outfits for Halloween and scared the shit out of some people. Made one boy pee himself. xD

Christmas was fantastic! Got to spend it with all my favorite people, and I got everything I wanted. A camera, body form, adorable jacket, Chi hair straightener, and York peppermint patties.

Got to see Brand New in concert! Jesse Lacey was fantastic. :D

Brand New released a new cd Daisy! :D

Almost got to see Miyavi in concert... It's a good thing even though it didn't happen because it's been postponed, so I'll get to see him eventually. We have the tickets at least. Lol.

Got to play Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days which is awesome!

New Zelda is fun too.

Found Lost Odyssey, which came out last yer, but is super fantastical!

Princess and the Frog came out and I got to see it in theaters. I love the classic Disney animated musicals! Princess and the Frog was a great addition. [:

Found the love of Scrabble.

Got to hang out with Gally a lot. I love her tons!!! Hope she can come to my wedding!

Read the Wheel of Time series, the best series of books ever (not including His Dark Materials). Even went to a book signing and got the newest one signed by Brandon Sanderson! :D

Eden of the East came out and so did Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood, both amazingly awesome animes!

Got to live with Ansley! I love her.

Tried a lot of new foods and enjoyed most of them!

Got started on planning a wedding, which was fun. [:

Got into UGA's education program.

Heard that Final Fantasy XIII will come out next year. xD

Got a pink Ipod.

Got to see all my friends.

Thanks to all the people who have made my 2009 great!!!!!!!! Here's to hoping that next year will be just as amazing if not more so! :D
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Sat, Nov 14th, 2009 01:30 pm
What?! [
]
I noticed I didn't post about Brand New in here!

So, Tommy took me and Sarah and his mom to the concert for my birthday this year. It was a lot of fun.

We got there on time, but since me and Sarah didn't know anything about concerts, we thought we would go sit up top for the first act and then go to the pit. Mistake. We should have made our way up to the front as soon as we got there so we could see Jesse Lacey perfectly, but alas, we've learned our lesson.

Anyway, we made it up to like the 3rdish row int he pit for Brand New. I was so close to Jesse Lacey I could see his sweat, his mole on his neck, the UEN on his guitar... His arms were fantastic xD

They played allt he songs I wanted them to but 70x7 and Not the Sun. They started off with You Won't Know followed by Degausser and I was done, cooked, over, ded.

I had a wonderful time. :D This year has been pretty awesome. [:
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Sat, Nov 14th, 2009 01:27 pm
I wish I had the time and Energy [
]
To keep this completely up-to-date, but I find it hard to spend the time writing out every little thing that happens to me. It's sad really because I love my livejournal, but alas... Maybe in the future.

Last night, Sarah and I went to Norcross for a Wheel of Time book signing. :D AND Harriet was there! I was so excited! We were numbers 38 and 39 in line, which was awesome because there were many people there and we got to sit int he front and get our books signed first. [:

Harriet read us the part where Faile destroys Masema, which was pimp. And there was a short Q&A where someone asked about asmodean, haha. Someone talked about the tolkein, and no one cared. Lol.

We were sad we didn't dress up. We felt so ashamed of ourselves. ): We'll dress up next time for sure!

We want to go to Jordancon, but it's so expensive. We'll have to save up, because Im sure it will be fun! :D We decided to go as Tinkers, and that'll be awesome I'm sure. [:

I've so much school work to do it's ridiculous, but I want to get as much done as possible so I will have free time during thanksgiving break and such. D:

Wish me luck! <3
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Sat, Aug 22nd, 2009 04:29 pm
Dunno when I posted last [
]
But I felt like I should put something in here.

I miss having the energy/will to post in here all the time. It's always nice to be able to go back and look at the things that went on in my life.

Living with Ansley and her friends here in Athens now. It's pretty fantastic. I love them.

Tommy came to visit this weekend. Yesterday, we went and ate chicken and rice, and met gally and ansley at t he liquor store and bought a shit ton to go with the shit ton ansley already has.

Ansley had some friends over as well. We had a little many party and played cards and apples to apples and such.

Tommy got Gally wasted. Her first time. I felt so bad. He was so mean! lol

I am pretty sure I got drunk last night, but I didn't get sick. It was pretty entertaining and I had great sex ;D

Today, we had cinnamon rolls and then went to a pizza buffet with ppl and got a new router so now I have good internets <3

Tommy's napping right now, but we'll probably play scrabble when he gets up and we plan on eating chicken wings for dinner tonight and going downtown.

Speaking of DT, I went there 2 nights ago for the first time. I was DD and everyone get emo that it wasn't much fun. hopefully tonight will be better [: I'll dress cuter this time. Lol.
2 comments|post comment

Sun, Jul 5th, 2009 12:16 am
Engagement [
]
It's been a long time since I've posted last, and there's a reason I'm posting now...


Today, July 4, 2009, while watching fireworks in Dublin, Ga on a blanket laid out on the grass, during the fireworks finale, Tommy proposed to me!!!!!!!!

It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cute and amazing and glorious and I'm so in love and happy.



Beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

his words were "What would you do if I told you your mom was right?" Lawl <3
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Sun, May 24th, 2009 05:45 pm
A Year [
]
4 days ago was my and Tommy's 1 year together. [:

It's pretty weird to think about sometimes. It seems like we've been together forever. Much longer than a year lol. But at the same time, I can remember last year so vividly that sometimes it feels like it was only yesterday that it happened. It just recently started to feel real to me. It was like a dream for so long.

Needless to say, this past year has been amazing. I love him so much. ^___^ He's so good to me, my family, my friends, etc. He's everything I could ever hope for and more.

One year down, hopefully a lifetime to go. ;D

I love you Thomas Johnson-Averette!!!!!!!!!!
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Wed, Apr 1st, 2009 11:20 pm
Haha [
]
God Hates me.

in the last weekend, I got backed into on one side of my car, and the next day, the other side.

My poor car. It's so scraggly looking now ;-;

Sucks.
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Wed, Feb 25th, 2009 12:28 pm
Twitter [
]
I've been playing on Twitter the last few days. I think it's kinda cool and it's easy to do on my phone. So if ya have a Twitter, follow me ;D

Aside from that, I spent about 6 hours over at an old friend's place last night. It was fun. Adam and I can sit and talk forever and I dunno why haha, but we always have. It's kinda depressing though because we talk about Dav'El. Apparently his ass did cheat on me with Denise and such. I was treated so wrong in that relationship. I feel like.... /shudders. How dumb was I? haha. Oh well. There's no telling who all else he cheated on me with, or was seeing behind my back. /shrugs.

It doesn't hurt me that he did it. It hurts me to know I let him do that to me. Yano? Luckily I've found the best person for me and now I have nothing to worry about ^___^ Lucky~~~~~~~~<3
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Fri, Feb 6th, 2009 12:49 am
Love Presently [
]
Things people said got me thinking...

My relationship with Dav'El was my first serious relationship. I'd never had feelings like that towards anyone before him. So in a way, I was sort of disillusioned into thinking that it was the best, that none could come after, and that none would ever be as good, even though our relationship was never that stable.

I loved Dav'El, and still hold some feelings for him, because I truly cared for him. I still think of him from time to time and wonder if he's happy and doing well. But I don't wish to be in a relationship with him again. I think we did much better as good friends, not as lovers. We clashed too much. Not sure why, but we were never fully happy or content I guess is the word for it. One was always upset about something yano?

But with Tommy, it's a completely different relationship. I love him, not like I loved Dav'El, but on a totally different level. They are two different people and our loves happen to be two separate and very distinctive loves.

I don't know if I can show this with the words I chose to say in posts, to people, etc. But it's completely different.

I love Tommy so very much. It's so wonderful being with him. I'm always happy with him. He's a wonderful person, and I think he's truly amazing. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life right now. I'm close to home, I'm dating a wonderful boy, I have Sarah, I get to see my loved ones every weekend, etc.

I'm content with life. I'm content with love, and I honestly and truly want it to stay like this forever. I might have said things similar in the past, or expressed similar feelings, but that was in the past. I've grown up some, I've experienced new feelings, new things, and I would choose the relationship I am in now over any other ones I've had in the past. Easily.

So when I say things today that might have come out of my mouth a year ago, they are different.

I'm not sure if I'm making any sense, or how to express it where it will. I'm sure you could even hold onto your beliefs and tell me that I'd say the same thing in any relationship I'll ever be in, and that could possibly be true. If I were to have another relationship after this one, I would hope I would say something similar. I would hope that if I were to leave this relationship and find someone new, that he would be even more amazing, and that my relationship would have evolved into something even better than it is now, or otherwise, what would be the point, you know? Why would I leave something for something else that isn't as good?

I dunno. I honestly, right now, couldn't think of anything Tommy could do to better our relationship. I have zero qualms with him. There's no arguments. There's no tears. There's no regulations, worries, paranoia, nothing. Only happiness, love, safety, and contentedness. He's caring and sweet, and I am truly happy.

I don't know if this helped any, but I hope to clear up any misunderstandings or doubts in people's hearts about me. I tried. If it worked, I don't know. But I tried xD
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Thu, Feb 5th, 2009 10:25 pm
25 Facts about ME [
]
1. Playing dress up and taking pictures is one of my favorite past-times. I'm 21 years old and still love to get with my girl friends, put on wacky clothes and make up and take pictures.

2. I still throw temper tantrums.

3. I cannot stand to be alone, no matter what I'm doing. Seriously, if I'm alone for too long, I get reduced to a sobbing, self-pitying mess. I hate it.

4. I've been working on a story/novel for around 7 years now. It's been through many many stages and not much has been put on paper quite yet, but all the ideas are there and being messed with ;D

5. I'm addicted to manga. I can read manga all day every day. I just don't have the materials to do so now. [I've read every manga I feel is worth anything, and some that weren't, on www.onemanga.com already] If you've any suggestions, please give them to me. I feel empty without a manga to read xD

6. It's hard for me to make friends. More importantly, it's hard for me to make female friends. I'm extremely picky, and I'm somewhat shy/reserved when I first meet people... And girls always have their own little group and it's hard to weasel your way into a girl's life if you're a girl too... I'm telling you, it's hard! There are a few girls I've met/heard of that I would really like to befriend/be better friends with... but it's probably not going to happen ;-; Perri, Gally, I wish we were better friends~! D:

7. I've a terrible scare of cockroaches. Too many horrible experiences with them. One crawled up my leg as i was eating dinner once. Another flew into my face and around my head as I was using the restroom. Another terrorized me in my bedroom and reduced me into tears... So now, I will scream and promptly exit any room where a roach has been seen. No thanks.

8. I am neither witty, funny, nor entertaining. But I am a good accomplice. I can laugh like no one else. Any person is a comedian around me ;D

9. I am madly in love with Disney movies. Especially musicals. Disney musicals are the best. I have like 50 cds of Disney songs everywhere. In friends' cars, in my parents' cars, in my car, etc. I can't make a CD without at least 3 or 4 Disney songs on it. [I know a good bit of them by heart - Gaston and I Can't Wait to be King are 2 of my favs] I was once singing and dancing to Disney songs in my car one day when an old black man in a pick-up truck pulled up beside me and gave me the loser sign. It's one of the best moments of my life, legitimately.

10. If you can't tell yet, I'm extremely obsessive. I always have been. Be it Grease, N'Sync, Anime, Manga, Certain characters, Miyavi, my boyfriend, my friends, my favorite color [which is Pink and EVERYWHERE that is mine]. I obsess hard and long, lawl.

11. I am a Hello Kitty FANATIC. I wish to have a Hello Kitty house, but I won't. Maybe a daughter's room or a club house or something ;D I currently have a Hello Kitty bathroom and am working on turning my car into a Hello Kitty vehicle ;D

12. I'm a Libra. The best sign there is. I'm into astrology... And I like to use it to get to know people. As a whole, it's quite accurate. I know that Libras are awesome, Leos are attention-crazed, Geminis talk a shit ton, Virgos are bitches, Pisces are awesome, Cancers are bi-polar, Scorpios are dicks, etc. It's good to know ;D

13. I want a tattoo of a Libra scale with a Pisces fish on each side, one for Sarah and the other for Tommy. I'm waiting though. Got to make sure those people are there to stay ;D I also have wanted a Monroe piercing or a nose piercing for a long time now... I really! want one. I'm just talking myself out of it because I'm scared of needles and I can't be wearing piercings in the classroom ;-;

14. I'll play any game that other people can play with me. I like Halo, Rock Band, tried WoW, etc. Rock Band is my favorite though [: I especially love playing RPGs with my friends and voicing the characters. It's super nerdy, but it's so damn fun. You get some pretty interesting things happen when you speak for the characters. You should try it.

15. I've never been drunk, but I am kind of curious what it would be like. but not curious enough to try.

16. I want to work out, play sports, etc. But I don't have the will power to get off my lazy ass and do anything. I need to have someone there pushing me, or people depending on me. No one but myself is depending on me atm, and that's not doing anything for me lol.

17. My goal in life is to get married and have a family. I want a cute two story house with a decent yard, a nice backyard, lots of trees, and a creek. I want 3-4 kids. I want a family SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO bad. People are always telling me to wait and enjoy my youth, but I just want to get on with it and have my babies <3 Names I like right now are: Katie Scarlett [I'm a hug Gone With the Wind fan], Sierra Leone, Aidenn, Tristan.

18. Along with the last one, I also am not afraid of getting old. I am actually looking forward to being older and getting to see my children grow up and start their own families, and spoiling grandchildren. I can't wait to spoil some grandchildren. I want tons of them xD I also want to be one of those old people who are constantly in Jo-Anns fabrics, who go into a fast food restaurant and order the same thing every day, etc. I want to be a cute old couple who walks everywhere holding hands with my husband and being the envy of others. I love old people <3

19. I still sleep with stuffed animals when I'm not sleeping with Tommy. I can't go to sleep unless I'm clinging to something. It just doesn't feel right.

20. I don't really like chocolate or sweets. I don't care for cake, cookies, candy, etc. I do love skittles and other fruity candies though. Just not chocolate. I have exceptions for yorks, reeces, and white chocolate [: But overall, I'd rather eat carbs [potaties, bread, rice, etc]

21. I tend to be manipulative. I like to get my way, even if I have to play a little dirty. I'm also usually more mean to the people I'm close to.

22. I eat chicken. Chicken, bread, and potatoes are almost exclusively my diet. Although I LOVE fruit, and Watermelon is my favorite food. Chicken is what I eat the most.

23. I love to get on Wikipedia and just read. I can spend hours and hours on one subject, just clicking on every link on the page, every link on those pages, etc. In fact, I just spent 2.5 hours reading about Shinsengumi members. What can I say? I LOVE Wiki <3

24. I also like to spend my time online looking at random people I know/sorta knows pictures on myspace/facebook. And then looking at those people's friends' pictures, and then those people's friends, so on and so on. Sometimes you end up on some really cool people's pages. I like to look at people's hair, clothes, and make-up and steal all of their ideas... and then not do anything with them because I'm lazy.

25. I find everything my boyfriend does cute. He can be telling a story, and I'll squeal because of his cuteness. He could pick his nose and eat his boogers and I'd probably hug him and tell him he's the cutest thing in the world. For real. He is. I don't know why, but everything that he does or that comes out of his mouth is pure adorable. It's so weird.
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Mon, Jan 19th, 2009 02:34 pm
[
]
Alright, I turned in my application for the TEP. I'll find out if I made it in mid-March.

That's so much stress off my shoulders.

Turns out baker never picked it up and just didn't bother to tell me that he didn't. I don't know why Baker and Ricky were trying to sabotage me, but I survived. Those douches.

I did talk to Dav'El during all that though. He was pretty civil, returned my phone call, and told me that he was cool with me but Megan wasn't. I'm sure he's full of bullshit, but I'm glad that he at least lied to me haha. I kind of wish we could be friends again, but I'm not about causing any more drama so I'm leaving it as is. He and Megan seem happy, so I don't want to mess them up. Maybe in the future.

It was kinda weird though, because the night after that, I had a dream in which me and Megan were friends and were playing dress up and taking picture lol. I've always thought she was really cool and i'm sad that we had to learn about each other in such a lame ass way that prevents us from being friends. D: Oh well.

Picked out the bridesmaids dresses for Jet's wedding. Need to get that.

Uh... not much else has been happening. I should update more lol.

Later alligators xD
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Sun, Jan 11th, 2009 06:15 pm
Selling Costumes/Clothes [
]
I'm in desperate need of some money so I'm emptying out my closet!

All prices include S&H inside the continental U.S. Paypal only! Please leave a comment or e-mail me at kalasnacks@gmail.com



”WINCollapse )
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Sun, Jan 11th, 2009 12:33 am
quick list [
]
of things I want so I don't forget lawl

-nice pink camera
-pink mp3 player
-pair of boot/high top converse
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Fri, Jan 9th, 2009 01:27 am
BTW [
]
I LOVE Sailor Moon!!!!!

I want to cosplay as her, or black lady, or queen beryl xD
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Thu, Jan 8th, 2009 11:15 pm
stressed [
]
I'm seriously stressed out. I know what I want to do with my life, but I'm going through so much shit trying to get there and nothing's working out for me.

I want to teach. As simple as that.

But I fucked up by transferring to UGA. It's a beautiful school, don't get me wrong, and I'm sure it's wonderful and all that, but I had it made at Southern. I had a job. I had grants (7k worth). I was in the program and on my way to graduating on time.

Now look at me. I'm struggling with money. I'm stressed. I'm wasting hours on classes I don't need because I got pushed back a year. And now I may not even get my application in on time because I won't have my recommendations on time.

I'm totally boned. I'll have to take off from school, get a job, and pay off student loans until I can get into a college of education, either at UGA or elsewhere.

I should possibly go back to Southern. But I'll seriously be all alone there. All the people I knew and took classes with are all a year ahead of me now. I have no friends because the few that I had down there have gone sketchy and are avoiding me now.

Also, I'll be much further away from my family, Sarah, and Tommy. I don't know if I can handle that. I'm not sure what to do.

What should I do? I'm so depressed and stressed and just blah. I'm pissed at myself for not thinking further ahead. I should have stayed at Southern. I would already be nearly finished with school.

Dammit.

/le sigh
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Mon, Dec 29th, 2008 03:03 pm
Christmas [
]
I've gotten really lazy the past year or two with my journals. I don't ever want to sit and type anything out, when before, it's all i could do to get my ass off of LJ, myspace, etc. lol.

Anyway, Christmas went well. I got money, clothes, a sewing machine, etc. The parents got me some Cooking DS games. They say that if I want to be a housewife and make Tommy happy, I need to learn how to cook LAWL. They're silly. I'm keeping one and taking the other back and hopefully picking up Rock Band 2.

Me and Tommy beat Re:COM in a few days. I enjoyed it [: I <3 キンダムハーツ ^___^

I'm gonna miss Japanese terribly ;-; Boo.

Yesterday i went and hung out with Ansley, Jet, and Matthew. We went to Rose hill (FINALLY!) and a beautiful Cathedral - it was sooooooo amazing. I've never been in anything like it. I loved it. We also watched American Psycho, and WOW! I never knew that Christian Bale had that kind of body xD Lawl. I enjoyed it (:

Tommy's coming back here today. I dunno our plans, but we should get together with some people and hang out and such.

Uh.... I dunno. Nothing too eventful has been up in my life. I'm secretly wishing Tommy would propose to me for Christmas (I haven't seen him since mid-December). But I know it's just wishful thinking lol. But dude, a girl can totally daydream about things like that. xD

Jet's engaged. Ashley's engaged. Even my once-lesbian sister I met less than a year ago is engaged haha. I want a ring too! xD lol

Was gonna hang out with Sarah tonight, but she's sick ): Which sucks.

Dunno what all the plans for New Years is, but as it seems, we'll all just be chilling at Sarah's or something, which is cool with me~

ano.............. Blah. Lol, can't think of anything to say.

Hope everyone had a great Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate and a happy new year [:
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